The 2021 TBR (it’s never ending)

Call us what you want. Readers, bookworms, bookophiles, novel addicts, ravenous consumers of words, or trolls that hide under bridges and surround ourselves with forts that we’ve built out of things made from dead trees. We come in all different shapes and sizes, but there are a few habits that remain consistent throughout most of us. TBR lists.

And in that, the fact that we’re likely to start off each year shouting, “I’M GOING TO READ THESE BOOKS THIS YEAR!” And we mean it. At the time, anyway. Whether that remains to be true is anyone’s guess. Unless you’re talking about me.

Each year the list of books that I was going to read goes partially (if not mostly) unchecked. So those books carry over into the next year. And then I say something like, “But this year will be different.”

This year’s TBR has books I meant to read in 2020, 2019, 2018, and maybe even earlier. Who can keep track of these things? However, no matter how big the list, I’m determined to read them all this year, because let’s face it, this year is different.

If you’d rather read than watch, here are the highlights on my 2021 TBR:

Carrying over from previous years…

NEW BOOKS!

What do you plan to read this year?

And will they be read before another 12 months passes us by? Or will this year be different? 😉

Book Riot’s Free Association Friday

I just want to be clear right off the bat that ALL credit for this post goes to the good people at Book Riot. I received an email from them today and enjoyed reading the Free Association Friday section so much I felt like I had to share. Allow me to shut up, and present their genius:

Well, here’s a cheerful thing for April 3: in 1888, the first of the Whitechapel murders occured, starting off the serial-killing career of the still mysterious figure of Jack the Ripper. But hey, it’s not pandemic-related! So how about five works of SFF that feature that infamous figure?

Note: I was unable to find SFF titles for this topic by authors of color. If you know of any, shout them out!

Though first, I would very much like to step out of my wheelhouse and recommend a non-fiction book: The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper by Hallie Rubenhold. It’s immensely good (I listened to the audiobook) and Hallie actively works to defeat a problem a lot of true crime writers run up against, which is placing the emphasis on the victims who had their lives cut short rather than spotlighting the monster that took them. Also, there are some really uncomfortable echoes of Victorian British attitudes we can scope out still in modern America, but that’s a whole other topic.

 

the strange case of the alchemists daughter cover image

The Strange Case fo the Alchemist’s Daughter by Theodora Goss is what I’d call the very definition of a literaray “romp.” It’s a giant, multi-layered pastiche of public domain characters (or their maligned female relatives) getting together to solve mysteries and become a family. The mystery here is nominally the Jack the Ripper killings, but all is not what it seems… and Sherlock Holmes is also on the case, along with the Monstrous Gentlewomen.

 

Anno Dracula by Kim Newman – Another pastiche-o-rama, which asks what if Dracula had won? And then he went ahead and converted Queen Victoria and quite a few citizens of London to vampirism. He’s made becoming a vampire a trendy thing, which quite a few people–and notably some vampires, utterly disgusted. Enter Jack the Ripper, who has turned his murderous talents to thinning out the swelling ranks of the vampires.

 

A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny – How about a book from the viewpoint of Jack the Ripper’s dog? His name is Snuff, and he’s accompanying his master into Whitechapel on “collecting” expeditions, during October, when the borders of reality thin and “Openers” secretly compete with “Closers” to see if the pathways to a decidedly chthonic plane of great old ones will stay open or closed.

 

Ripper by Amy Carol Reeves – After her mother’s sudden death, Abbie ends up living with her grandmother in London… and volunteering at the Whitechapel hospital. Convinced she’s found her calling, helping the poor and abused, she takes it very personally when the very women she’s trying to help begin turning up murdered… and then she begins experiencing visions of the Ripper luring them to their deaths. Using this knowledge, she’s determined to use all of her courage and intelligence to hunt this criminal down… and finds a wider, more horrifying conspiracy than she could have imagined.

 

Cruel… and Unusual by D. Michelle Gent – Awooo, werewolves of London! The Wolf Society has a problem–there’s a real nasty piece of (human) work wandering around in Whitechapel, brutally killing women. And they’re deeply concerned that the unwanted attention he’s bringing in will cause the werewolves to be discovered, which could be a real issue. They’ve got to decide if they’re going to hunt down this menace themselves, or risk letting the human police force see to it.

Fun fact about this post: I ended up adding just about every single one of these titles to my TBR…

New World Rising is FREE… but not for long

At the time I’m writing this post, New World Rising is available for free from this link.

pro_pbid_2209552Worlds collide in debut author Jennifer Wilson’s graphic dystopian series where Divergent meets Mad Max.

Since witnessing her parents’ murders at the age of eleven, Phoenix’s only purpose in life has been to uphold her mother’s dying words – to be strong and survive. But surviving outside of The Walls – outside of The Sanctuary – is more like a drawn-out death sentence. A cruel and ruthless city, Tartarus is run by the Tribes whose motto is simple, “Join or die.”

Refusing to join and determined to live, Phoenix fights to survive in this savage world. But who can she trust, when no one can be trusted? Not even herself…

I know, I know! eBooks aren’t my favourite either. But FREE is one of my all-time favourites! It’s right up there with huge sale, and discount books.

I’ve heard a lot of good things about this book, so I’m looking forward to getting into it.

If you’re going to grab it, do it quick. There’s no telling how long it’ll be free.

Harry Potter and the Anniversary Editions

Short post today, just to gush over the 20th Anniversary Harry Potter covers.

I bought a hardcopy and a paperback for my wife’s birthday, both in the house she was sorted into, Slytherin. Even though I’m a Ravenclaw (together we’re a Slytherclaw) I have to admit these books look I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E.

The only downfall was the sleeve of the hardcover edition. The second human skin touches it, a near-permanent imprint remains.

But from the beautiful crest to the inverted color scheme and the painted page edges, these books are beautiful.

Who else bought one or more of these awesome anniversary editions?

Top Ten Series I’ve Been Meaning To Start But Haven’t

Two posts in one day? If you like the idea of this, don’t get used to it, and if you’re already sick of hearing from me, don’t worry, I can’t possibly keep up this speed.

Set out by The Broke & the Bookish, here is my Top Ten Series I’ve Been Meaning to Start but Haven’t.

Maze Runner

Man Runner

I’ve heard people say the movie is better than the book, which concerns me a little since I thought the movie was ‘just okay’. Regardless, I still have some interest in checking out this series.

Discworld

Color of Magic

I’ve been told that Discworld isn’t really a series as much as a series of standalone stories that take place in the same world with recurring characters. Regardless, this has been on my list for some time.

Seraphim

Skyborn

This is one of those situations where I already own the book and, somehow, still haven’t started it. I blame Supernatural for this purchase. The level of angel battles that I’ve always wanted to see on that show (but never have) might finally take place in the form of this book.

The Great Library

Ink and Bone

Anyone who loves books can’t possibly avoid such a book-centric novel. The premise reminds me of Fahrenheit 451 with an even better twist.

The Illuminae Files

Illuminae

2 mega corporations battling over the world. Enough said.

Shades of Magic

A Darker Shade of Magic

This one didn’t fall onto my radar until I started following a lot of book bloggers. Soon after, this popped up everywhere. I would say it’s high on my list, but it feels like EVERYTHING is high on my list!

Lorien Legacies

I am Number Four

I really loved this movie. It was necessarily a ‘great’ movie, but I found it so entertaining and I couldn’t stop thinking about the world it had created and the characters it featured. It’s been on my list ever since.

Inkworld

Inkheart

Remember what I sound about the Pittacus Lore series? Same goes for this one.

The Nevernight Chronicle

Nevernight

A school for assassins? Where do I sign up? I’m picturing Hogwarts but Hermione is a stone-cold killer with a throwing knife and Ron can nail a target from 500 yards in high wind.

Elantris

Elantris

I’ve been a Sanderson fan for a long time, even though I haven’t read any of his books. Confused? I know. I’ve listened to his podcast (Writing Excuses) for something like 10 years. Throughout that time I’ve always intended to read his books and it just hasn’t happened yet. That’s a long time, but I’m not giving up.

Are you reading a series right now? What series are you planning on reading in the future?

To Be Read No More! #2

This whole idea started on the Lost in a Story blog, though I originally caught wind of it on the Too Much of a Book Nerd blog. Wherever it came from, I enjoyed the first post and I’m back to see if I can do some more cutting to my TBR pile before it collapses and crushes a small village.

HOW IT WORKS

  • Go to your goodreads to-read shelf.
  • Order on ascending date added.
  • Take the first 5 (or 10 if you’re feeling adventurous) books
  • Read the synopses of the books
  • Decide: keep it or should it go?
 

Sand by Hugh HoweySand by Hugh Howey

Sand is actually an omnibus of serialized fiction making up one story. Further to that, it’s actually a sequel to another omnibus called Wool. I was a big fan of Wool. It was one of those stories that just pulled me in and wouldn’t let go until I was finished.

Sand takes place in the same world as Wool, but doesn’t follow the same characters. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Stay or Go? It stays.

the princess brideThe Princess Bride by William Goldman

This is one of those cases where I’ve loved the movie for a long time. That always makes me a little reluctant to read the book. Is it possible that the book could affect my enjoyment of the movie? Or could my love of the movie prevent me from enjoying the book?

Stay or Go? It stays for now. The movie is too epic to ignore the book.

Legion by Brandon Sanderson

A book where the main character has split personality disorder, and even though he knows that, he treats each one of his personalities as a separate person.

Stay or Go? I forgot about this book, but it’s not going anywhere!

devils cape by rob rogersDevil’s Cape by Rob Rogers

This is one of those books that I couldn’t remember putting on my TBR in the first place. Then I went back and read the synopsis. By the time I was halfway through I wanted to put the synopsis away and get my hands on a copy of the book.

Superheroes, pirates, gangsters, monsters, geniuses, and more superheroes! As a guy who spent a lot of my younger years reading comic books, this feels like a piece of home.

Stay of Go? Just try and take this one away!

Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan

Well… I like the title and the cover. Just like with Devil’s Cape, I couldn’t remember adding this to my TBR. This time around the synopsis didn’t bring me back around to why I wanted to read it.

It’s a story about a guy who’s doing stuff and then some whacky things start happening. Crazy characters start coming out of nowhere and then more insanity develops.

Stay or Go? It goes.

Okay, well, I didn’t cut down the list nearly as much as I hoped, but cutting for the sake of cutting isn’t the way to go. How’s your TBR list?

Torrent – A Flash Fiction Story

Ben marched through the bunker, trying to ignore the gasps and stares as much as he was ignoring his own grief. With his flamethrower cradled in one arm, and the specimen jar in the other, he walked into Dr. Daniels’ lab.

It was once a storage room, but space was an increasingly valuable commodity. This was proven by Daniels’ meager bunk, stuffed in the corner of the lab.

Dr. Daniels, busy studying a textbook, jumped when Ben slammed the specimen jar down in front of him. The doctor stared at it, getting closer and closer until his nose was touching the jar.

“Do you know what part it is?”

Ben shrugged. “It all looks the same. Hand? Tentacle? Tip of its—”

Dr. Daniels let out a squeal of joy and jumped out of his chair. He grabbed the jar and brought it to another table like a child with a new toy.

“Ben?” a woman’s voice called. Victoria walked into the lab and faced him.

Ben gave his best salute, but he could barely lift his arm.

She slapped his hand away from his head. “At ease. You can barely stand.”

Victoria took him by the shoulders, guided him over to the doctor’s bunk, and forced him to sit. Ben gave little resistance. He didn’t have much to give.

She locked eyes with him. “What happened out there, Lieutenant?”

* * * * * * * * * * *

Ben put one foot into the swamp and waited. He wasn’t expecting to be attacked, but it was a possibility. None of them would see anything coming.

He pushed the fear away and moved forward. Seconds later, he heard the rest of his unit making their own entrance into the water, with grunts and sighs of trepidation.

“This is so wrong,” Jordan said.

He was right, but the swamp was long and winding with impassable foliage on its banks. There was no choice but to travel in the water, despite the extra danger.

“Suck it up, buttercup,” Peter said. He spat into the swamp, keeping his eyes trained on the surface of the water ahead.

Rose turned her ballcap backwards and swatted at a fly. “We should just bomb the damn place.”

Only they weren’t on a simple search and destroy mission. They were attempting to capture—something that had never been done before. Ben’s squad was always tapped when the powers wanted something that had never been tried before. They were the first squad to make a kill, the first one to try an offensive attack, and now the first one to attempt data collection.

“I was thinking,” Jordan said. “We can’t just keep calling these things ‘the enemy’ or ‘them,’ can we?”

“You have any suggestions?” Rose asked.

Ben felt the ground dip, and the water rose to his armpits. “Flamers up!” His squad complied, holding their weapons above their heads.

“How about H2 oh no!” Jordan said.

Rose splashed water at him.

“No? How about . . . Hydrogen Die Oxide? But you have to spell it D-I-E.”

“How the hell are people going to know you’re saying it that way? Are you going to spell it out every time you say it? You need something short and easy, like ‘water men.’”

“‘Water men?’ That’s what a five-year-old would name them.”

A splash fight erupted.

“Hey!” Ben called. “Focus. You’re going to put your flamers out.”

Rose and Jordan were both good soldiers, but they forgot themselves sometimes. Youth and confidence. They trudged on in silence for a while. The ground came back up, and they were waist-deep in the water again.

“Torrent,” Peter said.

“Torrent?” Jordan asked.

“Yeah. Torrent.”

Rose nodded and Jordan shrugged.

“Game faces, people,” Ben said. “Coming up on target zone.”

All jokes disappeared, and Ben moved forward with three of the best soldiers he had ever met.

They were still a hundred yards from the target, reporting by satellite intel, when Jordan was thrown into the air. He bounced off a tree on the swamp bank and landed back in the water. He was up instantly, and his face sank as he watched the enemy form between him and the rest of the squad.

It was like the water grew a bulbous tumour. That tumour started to take on the shape of something bipedal with appendages that were ever-changing, fluid, and translucent. Sometimes they looked like arms, sometimes tentacles, and sometimes they disappeared completely.

They could see Jordan through the monster, like seeing someone from the other side of a fish tank. The enemy forming in front of them kept growing past the normal size. He hoped there was only one, as they had never faced one this big—let alone two or three. Could they have stumbled upon a queen?

Jordan pulled the trigger of his flamer. It clicked. Instead of a flame at the tip, his flamer dripped water. It had gone under the water when he did.

“No, no, no,” he repeated quietly as he fumbled a Zippo, sealed in a plastic bag, out of his pocket.

“Light it up!” Ben called.

The rest of the squad shot columns of flame into the thing’s back. And though it didn’t turn around, it obviously shifted its focus from Jordan to them.

It shot its own column, made of its own body, which hit Rose in the chest and held her down under the water.

“Stay on the body!” Ben called to Peter, and focused his flame on the column holding Rose. He walked forward as he fired, feeling under the water with his free hand. Something hit his arm and he grabbed hold of it. It was Rose’s arm.

Ben poured on the heat and pulled on Rose’s arm. It was like pulling someone out Jell-O, but her face slowly appeared at the surface and she gasped.

From the other side, Jordan had his flamer lit again and was back on the attack. It focused on Jordan again, bringing down what looked like a cylindrical arm directly down on Jordan. He was engulfed by it. The others watched him try to pound with his fists, but they just passed through the creature. He tried to run, but the creature moved with him.

Rose still wasn’t lit back up, but Ben and Peter ran over, blasting at the appendage that encased Jordan. Ben got there first and reached in, but he pulled his hand back immediately. It was like putting his hand in boiling water.

The thing retracted into itself and sunk under the surface, blending perfectly into the water.

Jordan fell into Ben’s arms, dead. His skin was red and blistered.

“My God,” Peter whispered. “We boiled him alive!”

“Dammit,” Rose said. She was crying and trying to get lighter to spark. “Come on!”

“Take mine,” Ben said, tossing his lighter to Rose.

As she caught the lighter, an enemy—a much smaller one—formed behind her.

Ben’s arm came up, but Rose was already pointing back at him. They both called out, “Behind you!”

His mouth was still open when Ben was forced under the water. He struggled against a force that felt solid on his back, but when he reached back he felt nothing but water. He pushed hard with both legs and both arms, straining his neck in an attempt to get some air.

Ben got his knees underneath him and pushed harder. The pressure on him didn’t let up, but he’d be able to resist for a moment.

Nearby, Peter was locked in a similar battle, barely keeping his face above water.

“Flash it!” Peter gurgled through mouthfuls of water.

“Rose?”

“She’s gone.”

He was right. Rose was floating face down.

“Get your face out of the water,” Ben said through gritted teeth.

Peter nodded and pushed hard, managing to clear a few inches between his face and the water.

“Freeze, you bastards!”

Ben hit the button on his nitrogen grenade and tossed it between himself and Peter. There was a loud pop and ice bloomed from the grenade, reaching in all directions.

The pressure on Ben increased, and his face slowly lowered toward the water. Ben gave a guttural cry and pushed back, but it was a losing battle. He felt the water touch his cheek. It was cold. Really cold. It was ice!

Ben still couldn’t move, but he no longer had to fight the pressure. He sat there panting, convincing his muscles to stop fighting.

“You good, Peter?”

No response.

It was difficult to move in his ice prison. He craned his neck until he could see Peter, and wished he hadn’t.

When the enemy put extra pressure on Ben, they had done the same on Peter, whose head was completely under water when it froze. The only thing above the surface was an arm, which was flailing and pounding at the ice with a fist. Ben sobbed and forced himself to watch until the arm went still. Then Ben wailed.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“I chipped away at the ice for hours before I got free. Broke off a sample and got back here.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this right now, Ben, but because of their sacrifice, and yours, the human race is going to survive.”

“No, it won’t.”

Ben and Victoria both looked over at Dr. Daniels, who was standing in the middle of his lab, staring at the specimen jar. His face was white, and there was an unusual slouch in his stance. He dropped to the floor, landing on his behind, still staring.

Ben rushed over, grabbed him by the shoulders, and gave him a shake. “What is it, Daniels?”

“You didn’t bring back a piece of a creature. You brought back millions and millions of microscopic beings. Maybe they’re working together with some kind of telekinesis, but I’d surmise that it’s closer to a hive. They work together because there’s only one mind, and they all share it.

“We vainly thought they just showed up when we took notice, but we don’t know. They could have been here longer. Much longer. Maybe longer than the human race. Maybe longer than any living thing, ever.”

A large drop of sweat rolled off of Daniels’ nose and landed on Ben’s arm. He wouldn’t have paid it any mind if he hadn’t felt it move.

Kong: Skull Island Spoiler-Free Review

Kong: Skull Island movie posterKong is a legend. One that promises spectacular doses of fantasy and excitement; and this latest incarnation does not disappoint. In fact, it’s the best one yet.

For those who haven’t seen it, not to worry. This will be a spoiler-free review of Kong: Skull Island.

With something that’s been around for so long, it’s gotta be tough to do something that stays within the near 100-year mythos and yet is still original enough to keep us all guessing. This movie did both.

It keeps the stuff we need to see without falling into cliches and scenes that we feel like we’ve seen many times before. We want to see Kong swat helicopters out of the air like toys. We want to see him pound his chest and give a guttural roar. But we can do without the scene where Kong creepily watches a human woman bathing or getting dressed.

John C. Reilly in Kong: Skull IslandThe cast was wonderful. And even though nerds like me felt like we were watching Loki work together with Nick Fury, those stigmas quickly fade into great performances given by all. Special shout out to John C. Reilly who always seems to surprise me. Not only did he own some of the funniest moments in the movie, but also some of the most dramatic, and he delivered on both.

Where this movie really shines is in its villains. The best villains in the cinematic history (as well as television, books, comics, etc, etc) are the heroes of their own story. Normally, we just don’t get to see the villain’s point of view because we’re too busy hanging out with the ‘hero.’

Kong: Skull Island will show you a villain, and then show you why that villain is actually a hero, over and over again. By the end of the movie you’ll realize the truth about the real villain of this story: from the right perspective, everyone is a villain.

Don’t take my word for it. Check out the trailer.

And if you haven’t seen this movie yet, make sure you sit through the credits. Just in case there’s something to see afterward. Trust me.

Agents of F.E.E.L.S. – A Really Great Goodbye Scene

I just watched one of the most wonderful “goodbye” scenes in all my years of television, and it came from a show I never would have expected was capable of such emotion: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I’m behind on the show, still in mid-season 3, but even so, SPOILER WARNING! If you haven’t watched up to Season 3 Episode 13, you may not want to read any further.

I’m not going to talk much about the episode in its entirety, but for those who will never watch the show (even though you should) but are still interested, allow me to summarize:

Bobbi and Hunter, married couple and both agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are captured while on a mission and decide the best thing they can do for themselves, for the mission, and for their colleagues is to disavow themselves. That means they can no longer work for S.H.I.E.L.D. or any other government agencies. Their careers, and pretty much their lives as they knew them, are over.

Our goodbye scene begins in a bar, where Bobbi and Hunter are discussing what to do with their free time and where they should take their first vacation. They take a quick second to acknowledge they’re being following by someone in the “intelligence business” who is there to ensure they aren’t reverting to an agency life.

Their waitress drops off a shot from an “admirer.” One of their colleagues sent the drink and is in the same bar, but due to their situation, and the man following them, she can’t sit with them or even speak to them. An instant later, several other drinks show up at the table. All of their colleagues are spread throughout the bar, six of them in total.

Each one of the agents, with tears in their eyes, makes eye contact with Bobbi and Hunter and they all drink at the same time. The agents then exit the bar, one at a time, giving one last look, and silent goodbye, as they go.

What made this scene so phenomenal was that there was no dialogue yet so much was said. The looks these colleagues, and friends, gave each other held so much meaning.

They were happy to see each other one last night, but sadness, regret, and grief was plain on their faces. They had so much to say to each other, but at the same time, couldn’t exchange a single word. They could only find comfort in each other’s unanswered need to be comforted. No dialogue, no sob-filled monologue, could ever have compared to the emotion in these exchanges.

Especially Mack.

Mack is the big bald dude. When everyone else drinks, he waits. And then he and Bobbi have a separate drink between the two of them. They were partners (professionally) and owed their lives to one another on a number of occasions. Mack is the biggest, toughest looking dude in the room—in any room, really—yet no one looks more vulnerable in the moment. He has more tears in his eyes than anyone else. The poor guy looks on the verge of break down.

My description certainly doesn’t do the scene justice, so do yourself a favor and watch it. If you’ve already seen it, watch it again.

Fall of the Risen – Week 31 – Clark

previousbeginning

At first, I thought maybe I’d dreamed the sound of the tires screeching and the lurch of the van halting, except that I had dropped onto the floor of the van.

“What the hell?” I grumbled.

“There’s a tree in the road,” Jack said from the driver’s seat. He had taken over for Dawn, who was now in the passenger seat.

“A tree?” I asked, unable to see anything from the floor of the van.

“A big fucking tree.”

I pushed myself up on the seat and peered through the windshield at the biggest damn tree I had ever seen. It blocked the entire road. It could have blocked three roads from the look of the overhang on each side of the road.

We piled out of the van to get a closer look. Even on it’s side, the damn thing was almost as high as my shoulder.

“Anyone got any ideas?” I asked.

“Should have brought the schlepper,” Murray said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Too big to push out of the way,” Jack said. “We got any grenades?”

I smiled at Jack. “I thought you were supposed to be the rational one. Besides, in the current state of the world, grenades are an increasingly valuable asset. Shouldn’t waste them on something like a tree.”

“We don’t have any, do we?”

“We don’t have any.”

“Why don’t we just go around?” Dawn said. We looked at the sides of the road and the way the tree seemed to keep going forever, and then back at Dawn. “I meant turn around, find another way. A side road. Whatever.”

Jack and I looked at each other, exchanging non-committal shrugs.

“I was locked in tunnel vision for the last while,” Jack said. “I don’t know how far back the last turn was. Feels like a long time. Could be hours of extra driving.”

“Can’t be that much,” Dawn said. “Roads don’t go forever without turnoffs.”

“What if we just off road it, until we get to another road?” Jack asked.

Dawn tapped the side of the van the way a mother pats her overachieving kid on the head. “She’s built for protection, not all terrain.”

Everyone fell quiet and slowly their gazes all fell to me. Hell. I didn’t want to be the leader, but I guess I did lead them away from Sisco.

“Well… I reckon we should… backtrack. Nearest road can’t be that far. We’ll lose a bit of time, a little gas, but that’s what we’ll do.” I gave a nod the way I thought a confident leader would. Felt stupid as shit.

Everyone piled into the van, except for Murray, who pulled me aside.

“What is it, Murr?”

He looked at the van, then at his feet. “It’s been years since I drove a vehicle.”

“You drove the schlepper back at Sisco.”

“That doesn’t count, boy! I was hoping you’d let me drive. Just for a little while. I just want to feel the steering wheel in my hands, the gas pedal under my foot.”

“Didn’t know you were such a romantic, Murr. Sure, you can drive.” I slapped him on the back then climbed into the middle row.

Murray climbed into the driver’s seat and put his hands on the wheel. He ran his hands around the perimeter, practically caressing it. He started the engine and sat there with his eyes closed as he pressed the gas pedal a few times.

“Damn, Murr,” I said laughing. “You want to be alone?”

He didn’t respond. He only checked his mirrors, and that’s when I saw his entire body tense. I looked behind us and saw a small pack of zombies down the road walking toward us. There were only five. No big deal.

“Just run them down. She can take it,” I said.

But I was talking to a statue. His knuckles were white from his kung-fu grip on the steering wheel, and his eyes were wide and frozen on the rearview mirror.

“Okay,” I said. “Anyone else coming?”

Jack stepped out, as I knew he would, but right after him came Ferguson. He looked at me with a distinct lack of confidence. I gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and said, “All right.”

We walked casually toward our undead opponents—they were still a distance away from the van. The closest two went down with a swing of my weapon, and one from Jack’s. The next two were just as smooth. I turned to find the fifth and saw it closing in on Ferguson. He looked scared, but he wasn’t backing away.

He raised his gun and cursed myself. Why hadn’t I noticed he left the van without a quieter weapon?

“Fergy, wait.”

But he didn’t. He pulled the trigger and the last zombie fell with a hole in his head. The gunshot echoed through the trees on either side of us.

“What?” Ferguson asked.

“You know what? Probably nothing to worry about. Let’s just hit the road.”

Having spent most of his time in a security booth, Ferguson never had to worry about sound drawing in more zombies.

It only took a moment to walk back to the van, but the first zombie already showed up by then.

“Clark!” Ferguson said, pointing to it as it appeared from out of the trees.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I got him. Get in the van.”

I stepped forward and put my machete through its head, then I noticed the rest of the zombies. I couldn’t tell how many. Who knows how many more were on the way? Most of them were still a good distance away.

I struggled between standing my ground and getting into the van. My new vision, everything I had been working for, said to stay and fight until they were all dead. If it was only me and Jack, that’s probably what I would have done, but I had three others with me. Three people that were still terrified of zombies, three people that I took away from the safety of their homes, and three people that I really cared about.

I grimaced and got into the van.

“Let’s go, Murr,” I said.

But Murray was still frozen behind the wheel, his gaze now pointed out of the driver’s side window.

“More,” he said. “So many more.”

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