Memes

AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Opening Lines

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Confession time. I’m hijacking this Top 5 Tuesday post and turning it into a writing/brag post. (Sorry Shanah!)

I’m terrible at remembering which books I’ve read had great opening lines. So normally, I’d just tap out on this week’s, but instead I thought I’d take the opportunity to share the opening line to the book I’m currently writing. I could use the feedback, and I think it’s a pretty darned good one. One of the best opening lines of all time? Certainly not. But if it makes people want to read the second line, it’s done it’s job, hasn’t it?

This story begins the same way all the best Rex Roderick stories begin: fighting over a woman.

I’m about 70K words into this novel so far, and I’m loving (almost) every minute of it. I think I’m going to end up being prouder (more proud?) of this book than any of the others. Let’s hope that’s a good sign toward this being the one that finally gets some attention from literary agents.

Fun fact about this post: I have an entire trilogy planned out in my head for this one, which hasn’t happened before.
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Series I Want to Start

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the prolific and always entertaining Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm. This week we’re talking about series, and ones that we haven’t started yet, but really want to.

I have a confession when it comes to series. I’m GREAT at starting series. I’m just not always great with continuing and finishing them. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s probably about 50/50. Regardless, here are a few of the series I’ve got my commitment-challenged eyes on:

 

       

The Murderbot Diaries
by Martha Wells

 

   

Likelike
by Jay Kristoff

 

 

The Band
by Nicholas Eames

 

 

The Locked Tomb
by Tamsyn Muir

 

   

The Divine Series
by Robert Jackson Bennett

 

Fun fact about this post: I own at least the first book of all these series. YAY!
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Books that Made Me Laugh

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the always prolific Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm, and this week we’re talking about books that really tickle the funny bone. And I don’t mean books that had a humorous line, or some quip that brought a smile to your face. I’m talking about books that made you literally LOL!

Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe
by Preston Norton

 

Whenever I’m confused with why I keep requesting ARCs when I clearly don’t have time for them, I remember this book. I wasn’t expecting much, but it was one of the first “big company” ARCs I was able to get. Then, I end up finding a spirit animal in Cliff (Neanderthal) and an insanely funny book.

“My fight-or-flight response was currently telling me to get the hell outta there. Except that my fight-or-flight response had a third, less-evolved option called deer-in-the-headlights.”

 

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
by Douglas Adams

A classic. And timeless. I’m sure there are piles of books that were funny during their time, but age has a way of removing relatability or making a shocking punchline seem banal and obvious. This however, retains all of its original magic. Clever, witty stuff that is keeps being funny even with re-reads.

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”

 

A Man Called Ove
by Fredrik Backman

This book wrecked me. Oh, sure, it has comedy and plenty of it. It’ll make you laugh one moment and melt your heart the next. Then just as it allows your heart to become something as stable as jello, STOMP! But, yes. Lots of funny!

“Now you listen to me,” says Ove calmly while he carefully closes the door. “You’ve given birth to two children and quite soon will be squeezing out a third. You’ve come here from a land far away and most likely you fled war and persecution and all sorts of other nonsense. You’ve learned a new language and got yourself an education and you’re holding together a family of obvious incompetents. And I’ll be damned if I’ve seen you afraid of a single bloody thing in this world before now….I’m not asking for brain surgery. I’m asking you to drive a car. It’s got an accelerator, a brake and a clutch. Some of the greatest twits in world history have sorted out how it works. And you will as well.” And then he utters seven words, which Parvaneh will always remember as the loveliest compliment he’ll ever give her. “Because you are not a complete twit.”

 

Furiously Happy
by Jenny Lawson

This was another surprise. Not that I wasn’t expecting comedy. Everyone and their mom told me this book was funny. I went in with a bit of skepticism. How can it be that funny? It is. It’s that funny.

“Like my grandmother always said, “Your opinions are valid and important. Unless it’s some stupid bullshit you’re being shitty about, in which case you can just go fuck yourself.”

 

A Confederacy of Dunces
by John Kennedy Toole

This one is a very different kind of comedy. The lines themselves aren’t funny. The situations aren’t necessarily funny. But the main character, Ignatius J. Reilly, is really, really funny, even though he’s never trying to be. He’s funny in his audacity, the things he’s willing to say, the apparent lack of shame he has in everything he does. All made more interesting by the idea that the author just might have been writing something semi auto-biographical…

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

Fun fact about this post: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Sanity Savers

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the always prolific Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm, and this week we’re not talking about books at all! We’re talking about the things we do to stave off insanity. What are we doing with our time now that there seems like so much more of it?! How are we going to survive if quarantine doesn’t go away AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!!

Work (Believe it or Not)

 

 

I’m one of the lucky ones that gets to keep working by commandeering my wife’s crafting room and turning it into a home office. For the first two weeks, I was so busy getting used to the new accommodations, adjusting to everything taking longer from home, and generally just putting out little fires everywhere. (see what I did there?) It was so much work that I barely had a moment to spare thinking about isolation and the world going insane around me. Now that I’ve climatized, I can’t seen to keep hitting refresh on cnn.com!

Reading (of course!)

 

I mean, we’re readers, right? We read in the best of times, how can we be expected not to read in the worst of times! I was hoping this would mean that I’d have so much more time to read, but honestly, that hasn’t changed. Probably because of the other things on this list, but there it is.

Catching Up on TV (and Video Games)

I know, it’s a bit of a cheat to put TV and video games as one item, but they both serve to destroy my time doing anything productive. When it comes to video games, I’m a bargain shopper. I don’t buy them when they come out. I buy them when they go on sale (half price or less) thinking I’ll play them when I “have time.” I should have more time now, but as I said above, I don’t. And when it comes to TV, my wife and I usually take forever to get through a season of something. Lately though, we start and end a season within the same week, or close to it. Our latest was The Stranger on Netflix. As most of the best shows usually are, this one was based on a book. Now we’re struggling to find the next show to watch. Please drop me your binging recommendations in the comments!

Writing (sometimes)

Another of the more productive things I tend to do in the best of times, and another thing that I still wish I was doing more of. I started off last week writing and thought I’d continue the momentum all week long. NOPE! But alas, the times I do sit down and do it, I love it. It’s maybe the best escape of the list, especially if I can find myself completely immersed in the worlds of my own making.

Home Projects

I never thought this would make the list, but it did. I’m a procrastinator, through and through. But since we aren’t really leaving the house, I’m stuck nose-to-nose with all those things that are on the “eventually I’ll get to this” list. So far, I’ve done a bunch of landscaping in the front yard and a bunch of organizing in the basement. That may not seem like a lot (and it’s not) but for me, it’s A LOT!

Fun fact about this post: Oh, I also started running again on Sunday. Don’t forget to leave me your binging recommendations!
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Authors – F, G, H, I, & J

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the always prolific Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm, and this week we’re talking about favourite authors F through J. This one was even tougher than last week. If this theme has made me realize anything, it’s that I jump around from author to author A LOT. There aren’t very many that I’ve read deep into, and some are being put on these lists based off of a single book, or books that I have on my TBR!

F – Jonathan Franzen

So, right off the bat, Jonathan Franzen is one of those authors who I’ve only read one book from. To be fair, The Corrections is a fantastic book that has stayed with me 10+ years later. I have another of his on my bookshelf that I auto-bought on his name alone, though I haven’t read it just yet.

G – Neil Gaiman

Anyone who doesn’t have Neil Gaiman on their top authors list has probably never read a Neil Gaiman book. The guy has this ability to make you laugh at silly, slapstick antics and still come away feeling emotionally torn over one issue or another. It’s almost like he’s able to walk into a room and give you a bag of candy. And it’s really good candy, so you eat the whole bag. And when you’re done he comes back and says, “That wasn’t candy. It was vegetables. You’re healthier now.”

H – Hugh Howey

Hugh is another 1-booker, but what a book! Wool brought me out of a huge reading slump once upon a time, and I’m a fan of his online antics. There’s a video of him crashing a book party where a bunch of his fans were meeting in costume and he shows up, also dressed in costume. Pretty epic.

I – Walter Isaacson

Okay. This is my biggest stretch so far. I haven’t read any of Mr. Isaacson’s books, but I have 2 on my shelf. One on Steve Jobs, and one on Leonardo DaVinci. I’m very much looking forward to reading them, it just hasn’t happened yet!

J – Jay Kristoff

 

This guy. THIS guy! Jay Kristoff is a creative juggernaut. I imagine the stuff he’s thrown out is world’s ahead of some of the awful, awful books I’ve read in my time. I have to believe he has like a literary Midas touch. Jay works on a story, it’s dripping in gold.

 

Fun fact about this post: You think this week is bad? Just wait until I start inventing names because I can’t find an author with a name that starts with X!!
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Authors – A, B, C, D, & E

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the always prolific Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm, and this week we’re talking about favourite authors A, B, C, D, & E. This was a tough one, and while sometimes I used the first name and sometimes the last, I didn’t have to cheat or really reach to use middle names of anything like that.

A – Amie Kaufman

Unearthed left me wanting a little more, but for her part in the Illuminae series, she totally deserves to be the first author named in this series.

B – Pierce Brown

Yup. You all knew this one was coming. Author of the Red Rising series, which is one of my favourite series of all time.

C – Chuck Palahniuk

This guy single-handedly brought me out of a multi-year reading slump, and inspired me to finish my own first novel. His writing style is truly unique. Also, it’s pronounced pal-a-nik. You know you were wondering.

D – Philip K Dick

The brilliant mind that brought us Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly, Man in the High Castle, and a ton of other titles that you’ve probably heard of multiple times in multiple forms of media, even if you’ve never picked up one of his books.

E – Ernest Hemingway

One of the smoothest writers I’ve ever read. The pages seem to fly by whether he’s writing about murder or an old man on a boat prepping a fishing pole.

 

Fun fact about this post: Wow. This list started out with the young and current and just got older and older the further down it went…
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

Top 5 Bookish Habits

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Top 5 Tuesday is created by the always prolific Shanah, the Bionic Book Worm, and this week we’re looking at bookish habits. This was a tough one to figure out, because I’m so blind to the habits I have. They all blend into my daily life so seamlessly, it’s hard to see that they exist at all. Upon a closer look, here’s what I discovered:

Constantly Rearranging Bookshelves

Right now, my book are arranged in two sections. Read and unread. The read are arranged by genre, and the unread by the ones I want to read most. Though there’s nothing saying that next month I won’t rearrange by author name, or alphabetical by title.

Getting More and More Books Even When I Have Too Many to Read

Whether I’m cruising NetGalley for yet another ARC, or falling for another Amazon book sale, I can’t seem to stop myself from adding more and more books to my pile.

Getting My Hackles Up When People Diss Reading

“Why bother reading? I’d rather wait for the movie to come out.” Cue roaring laughter from people that don’t realize they’re making themselves sound like dumbasses. I’m not going to begrudge anyone who doesn’t like to read. But the people who have their cute little quips imply reading is stupid, pointless, for losers, or anything else makes me see red. I don’t like hunting, but I don’t talk shit about it. I don’t like figure skating, but I don’t talk shit about it. Why some people talk about not reading like it’s something to brag about is so far beyond me. Would these same people brag about not using math since being in high school?

Buying Additional Copies of a Book Because of a New Cover

This isn’t a common one, but it’s been known to happen. With those books that are the absolute top of my list, I can’t resist buying additional copies with a better cover. Witness the first copy I bought of The Art of Racing in the Rain, and then the second. (and no, I didn’t stop at 2 copies…)

 

Using Goodreads More Than Any Other Social Media

I can’t remember the last time I was on Facebook. I’m not interesting enough to post much on Instagram. I’m too old for Snapchat and TikTok. And twitter might be the only one that comes close to claiming as much of my time as Goodreads.

Fun fact about this post: Not sure if this counts as a hobby, but there is ALWAYS a book next to the toilet…
AllFirst Impression FridayMemes

First Impression Friday – Wanderers by Chuck Wendig

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Welcome to another First Impression Friday. In case this is your first time, here’s the rundown:

• Based on this sampling of your current read, give a few impressions
and predict what you’ll think by the end.
• Did you think you’d love and ended up hating it? Or did you think
you’d hate it and wound up loving it? Or were you exactly right?
• Link back to Storeys of Stories so I can enjoy reading all the
First Impression Fridays out there!

 

A decadent rock star. A deeply religious radio host. A disgraced scientist. And a teenage girl who may be the world’s last hope.

Shana wakes up one morning to discover her little sister in the grip of a strange malady. She appears to be sleepwalking. She cannot talk and cannot be woken up. And she is heading with inexorable determination to a destination that only she knows. But Shana and her sister are not alone. Soon they are joined by a flock of sleepwalkers from across America, on the same mysterious journey. And like Shana, there are other “shepherds” who follow the flock to protect their friends and family on the long dark road ahead.

For on their journey, they will discover an America convulsed with terror and violence, where this apocalyptic epidemic proves less dangerous than the fear of it. As the rest of society collapses all around them–and an ultraviolent militia threatens to exterminate them–the fate of the sleepwalkers depends on unraveling the mystery behind the epidemic. The terrifying secret will either tear the nation apart–or bring the survivors together to remake a shattered world.

Let’s talk about Wanderers by Chuck Wendig.

So, I’ve got the audiobook version for this one. I already knew it was a big book, but I was still pretty surprised the first time I opened it up and saw it was 32+ hours! That’s easily double and triple of “normal” audiobooks. But don’t let that scare you away.

The first few chapters have been dynamite. Not a ton of action, but intrigue is everywhere. Each paragraph fills my mind with more questions that I can’t wait to get the answers to. My inner monologue on this one has basically been:

“What? Why is… ohhhhh. Awesome. Hey, wait. Who’s that? Why are they…? AWESOME!”

Definitely looking forward to more and more and more.

 

My Prediction: 4+ stars

Fun fact about this post: Chuck has been one of all-time favourite bloggers (terribleminds.com). In fact, I was reading his blog posts way before I read any of his books!
AllMemesTop 5 Tuesday

5 Books I NEED to Read in 2020

Posted on by J.W. Martin

It’s Time! It’s the first Top 5 Tuesday of 2020! Shanah has some awesome topics cooked up already. The first one being the 5 books I need to read in 2020. This has been the first topic of the year for a while now, and I thought it would be depressing fun to look back on the last 2 years of these posts, and see how I failed did.

Top 5 Books I MUST Read in 2018

Invictus
by Ryan Graudin

DID NOT READ

That’s right. This book has been on my shelf for 2 complete years and I did nothing but stare at it and feel bad about myself. And guess what! It’s not the last one on this list with the exact same story!

 

Sea of Rust
by C. Robert Cargill

DID NOT READ

See? Told you.

 

Nevernight

Nevernight
by Jay Kristoff

READ IT!

Yay! I got one! See? I’m not completely useless!

 

All Rights Reserved
by Gregory Scott Katsoulis

DID NOT READ

I’m useless again. But since we’re talking about this book, author Gregory Scott Katsoulis recently started following me on twitter. Not sure what I did to deserve such a prestigious follower, but I’m pumped to have him.

 

A Darker Shade of Magic

A Darker Shade of Magic
by V.E. Schwab

DID NOT READ

This one is probably my biggest shame over the past two years. It’s usually the first book I bring up when talking about books I need to read and it’s been on my shelf for over 2 years. smh

 

Okay. So 2018 didn’t turn out anything like I wanted it to. I still read a lot of great books that year, and it was also the year that I discovered the slippery slope of ARCs. I had no idea how common it was for requests for digital ARCs to be granted, and I spent 2018 almost exclusively reading ARCs. Let’s see how the year after that went…

 

 

Top 5 Books I MUST Read in 2019

The Lies of Locke Lamora
by Scott Lynch

READ IT!

Look at that! 2019 starting off with a bang! This one might have had to do with the fact that it was a buddy read with the Top 5 Tuesday creator herself.

 

Godsgrave
by Jay Kristoff

READ IT!

Two for two! There’s no way I can keep up these kind of results. Or can I?

 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
by Stephen Chbosky

DID NOT READ

Nope. I guess I can’t.

 

Scythe
by Neal Shusterman

DID NOT READ

I haven’t had this one on my shelf since the very beginning on 2018, but probably 6 months or more…

An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth
by Chris Hadfield

Apparently, being non-fiction doesn’t get you read any faster than anything else when it comes to my lists…

 

 

Hmm… Not much better. I’m seeing a trend developing. I was able to limit my requests of ARCs in 2019 by quite a bit, but still too many. Hopefully I’ll have even more control in 2020 so I can get around to reading the books I really want to read…

 

Top 5 Books I MUST Read in 2020

Gideon the Ninth
by Tamsyn Muir

Who hasn’t heard about this book? I’ve been hearing about it everywhere and all of it ranges from good to great to amazing.

 

Sabbath
by Mick Mamatas

I only heard about this one at the end of last year. Basically, an eleventh century warrior dropped in present day New York to hunt down the living personifications of the seven deadly sins. See you there. I’ll bring the popcorn.

 

Darkdawn
by Jay Kristoff

Third year, third book of the Nevernight series. And considering the others are pretty much the only titles off of previous years’ lists to be read, I feel pretty good about this one.

 

Iron Gold & Dark Age
by Pierce Brown

I was trying to pick newer books, so I was going to go with Dark Age, but I haven’t read Iron Gold yet (I know I need my Red Rising fanatic card confiscated.)

 

Wanderers
by Chuck Wendig

This is the only book in this entire post that I don’t already own. That’s going to cost me some points in The Cheapskate Reading Challenge, but I think it’s going to be worth it!

 

Fun fact about this post: I now consider all 12 unread books on my MUST READ THIS YEAR list. Hold me to it. Please. Someone has to.
AllFirst Impression FridayMemes

First Impression Friday – Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood

Posted on by J.W. Martin

Welcome to another First Impression Friday. In case this is your first time, here’s the rundown:

• Based on this sampling of your current read, give a few impressions
and predict what you’ll think by the end.
• Did you think you’d love and ended up hating it? Or did you think
you’d hate it and wound up loving it? Or were you exactly right?
• Link back to Storeys of Stories so I can enjoy reading all the
First Impression Fridays out there!

 

What if you knew how and when you will die?

Csorwe does — she will climb the mountain, enter the Shrine of the Unspoken, and gain the most honored title: sacrifice.

But on the day of her foretold death, a powerful mage offers her a new fate. Leave with him, and live. Turn away from her destiny and her god to become a thief, a spy, an assassin—the wizard’s loyal sword. Topple an empire, and help him reclaim his seat of power.

But Csorwe will soon learn – gods remember, and if you live long enough, all debts come due.

Let’s talk about The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood.

This is a big, beefy book that I received as a digital ARC. It’s certainly not the biggest book I’ve ever read, and probably not the biggest I’ll even read this year, but it’s still intimidating. Especially because every single character has a name that I’m too dumb to be able to pronounce without the help of the pronunciation guide (which is about 15 digital pages long!)

But beyond all my crybaby nonsense, this book is gripping. The chapters are long and the description is thick, two things that usually drive me away, but in the case of this book I just want more and more and more.

An odd concern that’s never come up before, and probably won’t apply to most readers, is that I can see where it might be heading and it’s in a very similar direction to a book idea that’s been dominating my free thoughts for the past month. For someone trying to bust into the writing world, that’s very concerning. What if my ‘original’ idea is just like this book?!

I’m just hoping that it steers away from that direction and that I’m only seeing it as a possibility because of my own story. I’m also hoping that if it does prove to be just like my idea that the temper tantrum that will follow won’t affect my rating of The Unspoken Name.

My Prediction: 4 stars

Fun fact about this post: And before you ask, YES, I had this idea BEFORE I started reading this book. Sheesh. Give me a little credit.